Hamilton's Halloween Horror III

Every year around Halloween we torture our poor pup by dressing him up in some absurd costume, and every year he gets his revenge by taking to the internet and filling the inbox of our friends, co-workers, and family with his highly exaggerated complaints and awful puns.  Those unfortunate enough to be on our email list have probably already seen this year's tirade.  Those who aren't can find it below.  We'll post more of our Halloween antics soon...   

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Dearest family and friends,

I'm sure you did not expect to hear from me again, that the humans who enslave me finally finished me off. But alas, I have managed to escape yet another Halloween with my life. And what a narrow escape it was! And now I come to you with another grim tale of abuse and despair, and another appeal for help.

As you might recall, these vile humans have stuffed me in a lobster shell and dropped me into a boiling pot, and they have destroyed what little dignity I had by dressing me in a ballerina's outfit and forcing me to twirl about for their cruel enjoyment. Oh, the horrors I have endured!

This year their monkey business reached dreadful new heights. As you can see from the photographic evidence below, these humans have gone completely bananas! They restrained me and bound me up in a most ridiculous and fruity disguise. Then they unleashed upon me a small but ferocious primate with four very sharp teeth. I tried desperately to peel away my yellowy binds, to prove to the ravenous creature that I am a dog and not some tasty tropical treat. But it was no use. I lost two inches of my beloved tail before the furry little monkey finally decided that I was not fit for eating.

Please, I beg of you to help me. Save me from the pain and humiliation that these humans bring upon me. I fear that I will not survive another year.

Woefully yours,

Hamilton Fitzpatrick

P.S. Happy Howloween!

Jeff, Jenny, Mckynna, Baby Bean, Hammy & Miyagi

P.P.S. Even after the events described above Hamilton and sweetest niece Mckynna (aka the adorable little monkey) remain the very best of friends.

Where there is no imagination there is no horror - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle